Tim Høiland
3Feb/10Off

What to do with hungry, thirsty strangers

You know you've been there. We all have. You’re walking down the street, minding your own business, and then it happens.

“Excuse me sir, can you spare some change?�

Just like that.

Then what?

If you’re like me, a lot is going through your mind: thoughts of supporting destructive habits, or making them lazy, or dehumanizing them, or maybe rationalizations: “I’m not rich� or “Okay, fine, I am rich but I’ve worked hard for what I have.� These all seem to coalesce in that moment of truth, along with some incredibly inconvenient verses from the Bible about sheep and goats and the real sin of Sodom and real worship and real religion, and how our so-called faith is worthless if we disregard real needs by spiritualizing them. It’s information overload. And if the Bible is true, the stakes are high.

This sort of thing has happened to me a lot lately. Last night I was on my way into the grocery store a few blocks away from my apartment and it was snowing. A man came up to me in the parking lot, showed me 90 cents in change, explained that his car broke down and that he needed money for a cab. I gave it to him. His name was Robert.

This evening, while walking home from work a man stepped out of the shadows and asked me for change. I apologized and said I didn’t have any. I did. It was a lie. I didn’t ask his name.

Why did I give ten bucks to Robert but left the nameless man on the sidewalk without as much as a dime? Why did I once buy a pair of train tickets for people I had just met but countless times have done my best to ignore or quickly refuse other, far simpler, requests? Why, while I'm at it, did I not tell Robert to hop into my car? Why didn't I take the nameless guy to Subway or McDonald's and ask him about his day? Why do I get so uncomfortable when people are so candid about their needs? Could it be that I've been conditioned to mask my own?

Now, I’ve read the books. I’ve studied Scripture. I’ve prayed about it, thought about it, discussed it here and there. I’ve taken classes in economics, community development, even theology of poverty, for crying out loud. I’ve absorbed a lot of information but still, every time someone asks me for money, it’s an instant, scrambled decision.

When I do give, I try to exchange names and a handshake - you know, to level the playing field, to keep the dignity. At times I've asked them to “pay it forward� when they can. Sometimes I bring Jesus into it - which seems like the right thing to do since he has everything to do with it - but doing so can also feel a bit forced and condescending, as if there are strings attached to grace.

When I don’t give, I try to avoid eye contact. If that fails, I pat my pocket, shrug, and act disappointed. I might pick up the pace, look busy, or think about how I can make up for it by reading my Bible, or by reminding myself that I have a degree in international development and will help plenty of other people soon enough.

While living in Cambodia I got to know a remarkable Dutch woman who embodies compassion, working for a Christian development organization and adopting several Cambodian kids over the years. Once I asked her what she does when a stranger on the street asks for change, which happens, incidentally, all the time. She said that each time, she just listens to the Holy Spirit and takes the next step, whatever it is. I believe her and slightly envy her, because to me, other voices tend to compete loudly in such moments, and the Holy Spirit line just seems like something I'd say as a good Christian cop-out.

Later, a friend in Lancaster told me he decided to contribute regularly to the rescue mission  downtown, and when asked for money he’d point people there. The idea was that this would eliminate the problem of not knowing where the money will go, while also not failing to meet real needs. It was a better approach than any I’d come up with, and a clear demonstration of my friend’s concern for those in need, but I worried that I'd just use the idea as a way of outsourcing compassion to professionals.

So, I pose the question: do you have a consistent approach in these situations, when you're put on the spot with a request for some change? If so, how did you get there? What experiences led you there? In all of the Bible’s teaching about money and greed and compassion, have you found a consistent pattern as it relates to this? How do you balance competing arguments for and against looking a stranger in the eye, reaching into your pocket, smiling, and giving them whatever you have?

And perhaps trickiest of all: how do you keep it rooted in love?

27Jun/08Off

Jesus at the Clothing Bank

So I was at the clothing bank this morning, waiting in the fluorescent-lit, plywood-walled hallway as some of our newly arrived refugees filled trash bags with a hodge-podge of hand-me-downs. I had taken along a book to read, as is my custom - this time the brand new miscellany by Frederick Buechner. I found it hard to focus on the book, however - as engaging as Buechner's writing always is - because down the hallway was a single mother with two children, both of them vying for her attention, both of them picking fights with each other.

"Mommy, he poked me in the eye!" the girl screamed, tears streaking down her face.

"Say you're sorry," commanded the mother to her son sternly.

"Sorry," said the eye-poker with a tone that lacked earnestness.

"Say, 'I forgive you'."

"No," retorted the one with the tear-filled eyes as she walked away, sniffling, arms crossed. "I don't want to!"

It wasn't long until the family was called into the office to fill out their forms, but it sure seemed like a long time what with the eye-poking and screaming and relentless rebellion from the son each time his mother told him to sit down and shut up - which occured every ten seconds or so.

Once inside the office, they quieted down, and I was just able to make out a question from the youngest of them, the little girl whose tears had mostly stopped flowing.

"Who's that in the picture?" I heard her ask.

I knew which picture she was referring to because I had just been in the office a few minutes earlier and had given a moment's attention to the big picture on the wall of the man with the black beard, the white robe, the compassionate yet piercing eyes.

"It's Jesus," responded the mother, her tone having suddenly lost its edge.

"Is that really what he looks like?" asked the son.

"Yes," the mother said.

"How do they know?"

"Because that's what the Bible says he looks like."

The absurdity of the statement hit me, but I couldn't dwell on it too long because the conversation continued.

"Everyone has their own idea of what Jesus looks like," offered the woman behind the desk, who with a gold crucifix around her neck and fake red fingernails types clients' information into the computer day after day, week after week, year after year.

What struck me most about this whole fascinating episode was how the scene went from pandemonium one second to something miraculous that bordered on awe and reverence the next. The pandemonium ended (fleetingly, I must add) and awe and reverence took its place (if but for a moment). What made the difference? It was the face of Jesus.

For a split-second I was tempted to put down the book, walk over to them and tell them who Jesus really is, since I am a Christian and in my stream of the Christian faith we are taught to tell everyone we meet everything we know about Jesus, but then it struck me.

This Jesus in the picture on the plywood wall at the clothing bank, along with the pictures all of us have of Jesus on the walls of our hearts and minds, are all in some way representative of the real Jesus who was born in a cave out back, who grew up stubbing his toes and skinning his knees and wetting the bed, who got thirsty and hungry and tired, who healed the sick and raised the dead and told seemingly everyone with words both veiled and explicit that the Kingdom of God was at hand, who ultimately died on the cross and rose from the dead and ascended where he now sits at the right hand of the Father in Heaven - this Jesus, the real Jesus, the one we have so much yet to learn about, the one we have only begun to get to know, was the Jesus who said, "Come to me, all who are weary and weighed down, and I will give you rest." And also, "Let the little children come to me."

This morning at the clothing bank, I knew beyond the shadow of a doubt that the unremorseful eye-poking big brother and the unforgiving eye-poked little sister and the tired and edgy but trying-her-best single mother were the exact sorts of people to whom Jesus was and is saying, "Come to me." He's not calling those who have their act together. He's calling the messes. He's calling those with no clue what he looks like, just as he's calling those who think they have him all figured out. And that is really good news for all of us.

18May/08Off

Engaging “The Other” in the City.

Two facts and a conclusion.

Fact one: half of the world’s population now live in cities, and the percentage is growing.

Fact two: the story of the Bible begins in a garden, but ends in a city.

Conclusion: cities are really, really important.

In Signs of Emergence, Kester Brewin writes that cities clearly embody “all that is wrong and right with humanity, precisely because it is in cities that engagement with ‘the other’ is unavoidable.�

Engagement with “the other� - whether it is someone from a different ethnic background or political affiliation or religion or sexual orientation or economic standing or musical preference - is rarely comfortable (but of course, engagement with “The Other�, that is, God, isn't always comfortable either).

We speak of going to the mountains to tune out the noise and hear from God, and there is a place for this. Face to face with God’s magnificent, untouched creation, we’re reminded of his power and creativity, not to mention his existence. But, as Brewin says, “If our only answer to the obvious pain, greed, and ugliness that the city presents to us on a daily basis is to remove ourselves, then there is no hope for improvement.�

Rather than escaping the pollution and crime and overcrowding and yes, even the rap music pounding through your bedroom wall from the apartment next door as you try to sleep - as followers of Christ we must go to the cities, learn to listen for God there, begin to see God there. The Incarnation models for us a “moving in� rather than a “getting away,� and to the extent that we follow Christ, our lives and our families and our churches will be marked by the very same principle.

But most of all, we don’t give up hope; we know how the story ends.